The Scams Of Life

The world is a big place. It's filled with a bunch of single minded
individuals waiting to rob you off your freedom. I have fell for a
a lot of scams. I have lost a lot of money; bribing my way to my
freedom. If you find yourself in a situation in which you cannot
control, it's human nature to bribe your way out of that situation.
Does it really matter how you got out of that situation? Not when your
whole life depends on it.

Many have fell for the scams of life. It's extremely difficult to
recognize a scam if you haven't been in one. It's hard to believe that
someone woke up this morning with an intention to rob someone else.
Why is it that hard to accept the fact that we will always be victims?

Everywhere you go; everyone you meet, it's either they are a victim of
a scam or they are part of a scam waiting for your vulnerable moment.
There's always a weak moment. That weak moment will destroy the
freedom you've created for yourself. At least you still have time to
prepare. It doesn't hurt that much if you were expecting it but still,
it hurts.

I Wasn't There

I have no idea what I did to deserve this, but I know what I didn't do
to deserve this. I don't remember asking for this pain. I don't
remember praying for this pain. Why is it there?

Why can't it heal like any other pain? Why can't it disappear like it's
supposed to? I don't need it. I don't want it. Why is it there?

I confess, I had it easy. I slept with no pain and I woke up with no
pain. Now I have to get used to this pain. My pain. It's mine to deal
with, it's mine to feel and its mine to embrace. I find no pleasure in
this pain and I find no desire to live with it. Could it get any worse
than it already is? If it could, let it come. I rather face it all at
once than to face it one at a time.

We all have pain to deal with. As big as yours is, it can't be worse
than the one felt by the one next to you. Whether we know it or we
don't. We all get punished for the sins made in the past. Even though
we were not there. Someone was there and that idiot messed it all up
for us. Now we have to learn to live with it.

Wake Up, It's Only A Nightmare

 In the early hours of the morning. I found myself voiceless. Its not a
dream, It's a nightmare. As i lay comfortably on my bed. I suddenly
felt the need to turn. I was puzzled with the fact that I couldn't
manage a simple task as easy as turning to the side. The question
arise. Why can't I turn with my own strength? Why can't I turn with
the will of my power? I 'm trying to wake up. I lost control of my
back. I can't get up. Something is resting on my back. Why is
something resting on my back? Why can't I move?

While I struggle with the sadness of my nightmare. I lay awake
thinking about it. I can't wake up. Why can't I wake up? I opened my
eyes to look over my shoulder. I could see something on my back. I
could feel it breath over my shoulder and I could feel it pressing my
back against my bed. I screamed for assistance, I yelled for help, and I
cried for a saviour. Finally a friendly mind heard my call, a friendly
heart tried to get me on my feet and a friendly smile offered
assistance.

Even with that much help i could still feel something on my back. I
could still hear the sound of a soft breath over my shoulder and I
could still see something over my shoulder. Why am I the only one who
sees it? Why am I the only one who feels it? And why is it still on my
back while everyone is watching?

They all asked; what's wrong, why are you screaming voiceless in the
early hours of the morning? My answer remains the same, why can't i
wake up? It's only a nightmare.

The Undesirable Love For Pictures

I love taking pictures. I take pictures all the time. Whenever i see a
beautiful thing; I make sure I capture that moment. It's always fun to
re-live that moment when I glance at the pictures. That was then.
Beautiful things are no longer beautiful anymore.

I used to smile when I take a picture but not anymore. Instate of
smiling I turn around and see what's behind me. If the background
doesn't satisfy me, I will never take a picture. I ask myself when did
i start being so cautious? Just a year ago i didn't mind taking a
picture in an undesirable location. I can't risk to find my picture in
some dirty website. The minute you post your picture; it's no longer
in your control.

THE ROTATION OF PICTURE

If you are not careful what kind of pictures you take, you'll be
shocked of how many people have 'liked' that undesirable picture of
yours no matter where you have left it. The fastest way to become
famous is upload your undesirable picture on facebook and you will be
amazed how quickly your picture can tour the world.

Unanswered Questions...

It was a lovely school day. As usual I arrived early just because I
had no excuse to be late. The first class was a maths class. The
lecture would walk around checking each and every student's homework,
as he walked up to me. He realised all my answers were correct. It was
unusual since it was the first time he noticed my presence in class. I
wasn't keen for attention and I enjoyed being invisible.

My invisibility meant I had no pressure to exceed my average
performance. I limited my achievements. I had control up until that
day. He began with his usual questions and suddenly expected me to
raise my hand to participate.

I wasn't ready for attention. I was fine in my comfort zone. Why do I
have to answer? Out of so many people, why me? Then he said "Some
people are smart but lazy" I never understood what he really meant by
saying that. Now I lay awake thinking of 'what if', what if I raised
my hand? what if I asked the meaning of those words? what if I’m just
looking for an excuse to delay my future?

Enough With Your Problems

I confess, i used to enjoy the fact that you would come to me for
advice. I felt important. It ment more to me when you trusted me
with your sensitive moments. Helping you when you were in need was the
best part of my day. Finally i was playing a part in your life. It was
beautiful.

The thing is, that was then. As we went on about our day, i noticed
something about you. It seems as you were the supplier and i was the
receiver. Everytime i try to let you in on my problems, we seem to end
up talking about your problems. Maybe listening to your problems made
my problems seem as if they are not important. We never had time to
discuss my problems, did we?

I tryed so many times to talk, but you don't listen. I have problems
too, even if you can't help, it doesn't matter. What really matters is
the fact that you were there, i talked, you listend and you replyed. I
trully had enough with your problems, when will i be the supplier? I
also want to supply and let you be the receiver for once in your life
time.

Lonely Walk

I remember once i saw this lovely lady walking so slow that i could
swear she didn't want to arrive at her destination. I asked myself,
what makes a person walk that slow?

Does it mean she wanted someone to join her on that lonely road? Does
walking slow really mean that you are screeming for someone to
accompany you? Not anyone can tell what a person is thinking.
Sometimes people get a bad impression when they see a person walking
down the streets alone. Most of the time they even think you must be
crazy or something.

Is it that bad to enjoy your own company? Why would i choose to talk
to anyone wherels i can enjoy some peace and quiet tim on my own?
Sometimes i don't want entertain anyone, i just want to be left alone.
If you enjoy my company more than i enjoy your company, that doesn't
mean i rather spend my time alone. It clearly means i need silence and
space to rejuvinate.

Jumping to conclusions takes out the meaning of the real story. Wait
for the story to end then you can tell it like it is.

Are You A Leader Or A Follower???

I'm sure you have asked yourself the same question over and over
again. Its not that easy to identify whether you are a born leader or
a born follower, but I can assist you in noticing the little details
that determines whether you can lead or to just go where everyone is
going.

I have a scenario for you. Lets say its lunch time, you and your crew
have decided to rush to the shop to get some takeaways before your 30
minutes lunch is over. As you walk down the road, you notice that
everyone is too relaxed. They are probably not even worried about the
limited time they have. You try to tell them that time is running out
but they are not listening to you. What do you do? Do you walk slow
with them or leave them behind? you answer to this question will
determine whether you are a leader or a follower. Don't forget that a
great leader will never leave his men behind.
This tip shouldn't influence your answer.

Some of us can't stand being told what to do but also are incapable of
telling others what to do.

A Hug From A Stranger

It was just like any other day in Jozi. I didn't expect anything to
happen just because nothing ever happens to me. As I was rushing to
the train station an average guy bumped into me.

I turned to see who will bump into me in such a huge area, a thought
of that person having a horrible intention towards me never crossed my
mind. As soon as I turned he quickly extended his hand to offer an
apology. I was think "this is a nice dude, I didn't know Jozi people
were this friendly" not knowing what was about to happen.

The guy shook my hand and hypnotized me with his unending apartheid
stories. As he was demonstrating how they use to grasp people and drag
them with there pants, I was so caught up in the moment and never
realised the guy was actually robbing me blind. At the end of his
story he gave me a hug, yes I said it, a hug. I felt silly getting a
hug from a stranger in the middle of the street. When I tell people
this story I never mention a hug. The guy stole my brand new phone
during that hug, its gone.

My Secret Dream

I have searched and searched but never found what I was looking for. I
knew there was something out there waiting to be found but I didn't
know what that something was. I asked myself, how am I going to find
something I have no clue of its existence? I guess the answer was no
where to be found.

As years went by, I discovered what I was looking for. I was held back
from my dream, but what was holding me back? Nothing but the
boundaries we create to maintain the image we represent. I discovered
my passion for writing. At first i felt the need to write but I was
afraid of the reaction of those next to me. The fear of being judged
of the way I write kept a limit to my thinking. I didn't know how to
change the way I think, all I could do was wait. I waited for the
right time, I waited for the right words. Now my time has arrived. My
silence has been broken.

Finally I’ve been released from the chains of fear and uncertainty, I
confess. I'm late but I’ll make up for lost time.